


Conversations

by snapdragon76



Series: Aftermath [1]
Category: Batgirl (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Barbara Gordon is Batgirl, Canon Era, Communication, DC Comics Rebirth, DC give us what we want, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, DickBabs - Freeform, F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'll write my own, If I can't get what I want from canon, Let's Talk Things Out, My otp for life, New 52, OTP Feels, Ric Grayson Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:08:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21738850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snapdragon76/pseuds/snapdragon76
Summary: She was bound and determined not to waste any more time. She was done wasting time. She’d seen far too many people regret all the time they’d wasted not letting the ones they love to know just how much they were loved. Time was short and fleeting. She wasn’t going to have this one regret. Not with him, the one person who mattered more to her than anything.
Relationships: Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson
Series: Aftermath [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566820
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> So, here we go with a fic I came up with since this is what needs to happen within canon, but I doubt it will because DC doesn't do things that make actual sense. I tried to make sure things were as canon-compliant as possible, but some liberties may have been taken for artistic purposes. I had no beta, so I apologize for any quirks that may occur.

[ ](https://imgur.com/q0Z0XKR)

A text chime on her phone interrupted her studies. She thought she’d turned her phone off.

She reached for it and looked to see who it was from.

_Hey Red. Can we talk? Meet in the usual place?_

Barbara’s mouth twitched a little. Aside from Babs, that was the other nickname he called her. Him. Dick. 

She’d heard about the confrontation between him and Talon, otherwise known as his great-grandfather, William Cobb. His old memories fought their way back to the surface, intermingling with the false ones the Court of Owls implanted in order to make him into the new Talon like they had wanted to for years. 

She’d given him some space, in order to sort things out for himself. She did say that he could reach out to her whenever he was ready. She guessed he was finally ready.

_Sure. I can use a study break. See you in 20._

She put her textbooks aside and gathered her things. Bag, keys, shoes, phone.

_Great! I’ll meet you at the entrance! See you soon._

She knew what ‘the usual place’ was. A park not far from the University. They used to go there a lot when they were kids and just watch people. Sometimes they’d make up outrageous stories for the people they’d watch, trying to one-up one another as to who could come up with the most absurd one. They generally tied.

Even after they’d become vigilantes and she’d found out he was moonlighting as Robin, they’d still go to the park just to unwind and pretend they were just regular kids and not super secret crime fighters. Sometimes they’d go to the playground and he’d show off his acrobatic skills on the jungle gym, usually daring her to do some gymnastic moves. She never took the bait, though.

She saw him at the entrance of the park, his black hair moving slightly in the breeze. 

‘His hair’s grown out,’ she thought. She waved to him. He caught her eye and waved back enthusiastically. The breath she’d been holding was released. He seemed like his old self. The way she remembered him.

“Hey, beautiful! Thanks for agreeing to meet me,” he said, giving her a peck on the cheek.

“Thanks for inviting me,” she replied in return.

Ever since the shooting and subsequent amnesia, she’d be hesitant to hover over him. He’d spurned her once, but it was as Ric. She told herself that it was only temporary. That’d her best friend would be back soon. As time wore on, she’d begun to have doubts. She did research on amnesia and Traumatic Brain Injuries and there were several varying cases of symptoms depending on the extent of the injury and the rate of recovery. 

Of course, none of those instances took the Court of Owls into account. She’d dealt with the Owls and their assassins, the Talons, before. They were fanatical in their beliefs and had felt cheated that Bruce had ‘taken’ their prize, which was Dick. The shooting by KGBeast was a prime opportunity to swoop in and manipulate his memories so he’d forget his time with Bruce so they could sink their claws into him. It almost worked.

His memories did come back on their own, but they were mixed with the implanted memories the Owls had in place, so he was confused. Barbara had kept a vial of his memories with her, never knowing she’d need to use them. She thinks having them helped to stabilize the memory lapses Dick had after his encounter with his great-grandfather. She was glad. 

Mostly she was glad to have her friend back.

“It’s a beautiful Jersey day out, isn’t it?” Dick asked, starting to walk further into the park.

“Yes, it is! Very nice out,” she replied. She suddenly felt bashful, not a feeling she was accustomed to around Dick. Well, there was the occasional time where she’d had a few… intense dreams about him. She kept those to herself. She did have a hard time looking him in the eye for a time afterward.

“So, what’s the occasion?” she asked as they were headed to a bench along the walking trail.

Dick stuck his hands deep inside the pockets of his jacket. “I wanted to catch up with an old friend.”

Barbara took a seat on the bench and Dick sat on her right side. “It has been a while since we talked, isn’t it?”

Dick nodded, “Yeah, it has. I feel the last few times we talked, I was a bit rude to you. I mean, I wasn’t myself, but there’s still no excuse for it.”

“No, you’re right. But, it’s all in the past now and you were trying to deal with something traumatic and we all deal with trauma in our own ways. Me, I internalized everything. Not the healthiest coping mechanism.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“I know I am,” Barbara returned with a wink.

“It’s hard to argue with a human supercomputer/gymnast/athlete/dancer wrapped in an easy on the eyes package,” he told her.

“I was going to say the same thing, except for the human supercomputer part,” she said, a twinkle in her jade eyes.

Dick laughed. She’d missed his laugh. She thinks one of the things that drew her to him the most was the easy way he had with people. He’d suffered a tremendous amount of loss in his life, but he never let it drag him down. Not like Bruce. She knew he had deep thoughts and feelings, but underneath it all, he was always Dick. Always with a sparkle in his sapphire eyes and a wink.

“I also wanted to thank you, for helping me with my memories. It was a confusing time for me, and I know you wanted to give me time and space to process things on my own, I don’t think I would’ve made the progress I have if it wasn’t for you,” Dick said, his eyes flicking down to the ground.

Barbara smiled, “I’m just glad I was able to help. I know you would’ve done the same for me if the situation were reversed. You’re pretty dogged that way.” She nudged his side.

Dick smiled, “Yeah, you’re probably right. If you lost your memory, I’d definitely pester you to death. You’d be so sick of me.”

Barbara had to laugh at this. She remembered when she was shot and recovering in the hospital. He was always there, even when she’d wallow in self-pity for a time, he was very patient with her. He’d be there for her physical therapy sessions and he’d distract her when she got too far into her head. She loved him for that. More than she even realized at the time.

Dick grimaced slightly, “I wanted to apologize for dismissing all of you… before.” He gestured vaguely. She knew what he was talking about. The time when he woke up from the medically induced coma he was in after getting shot and not knowing who they were. As a result, she now knew, of the Court manipulating his memories so that he’d forget everything after his parents died. So that he’d only have ties to his blood family. Forgetting that blood isn’t the only thing that makes a family.

She placed a hand on his knee. “You have nothing to apologize for, Dick,” she said, giving his knee a reassuring squeeze. “This is something that was done to you. They took away your free will. They’ve been waiting for an opening and they found one, even if it was one they had to make for themselves.”

She sighed a little, “I owe you an apology as well. That day, at the bar, when I was pushing you to try and remember the things you used to do. I shouldn’t have pushed you. When Bruce had his amnesia, we felt keeping a bit of a distance would help him. I should’ve done the same thing. I guess the more emotional part of my brain overrode my rational side. I shouldn’t have done that, and for that I’m sorry.”

Dick placed his hand on hers. “I was still kind of a dick you, though. No matter what, you were just trying to help me and I blew you off like you didn’t matter. But you do matter. All of you. Family isn’t just blood. That’s something I’ve always held true to. I was made to forget that.”

He paused momentarily. Barbara let him have his moment to himself.

“It’s kind of rough, knowing that the only blood family you do have turns out to be a blood-thirsty assassin working for a secret society that they tried to emotionally manipulate you into joining.”

Barbara smirked, “You remember my brother? The psychotic who’s repeatedly tried to kill us?”

Dick nodded. He did remember James Jr.

“So I guess you do know what it’s like, in a way.”

“Everyone has skeletons in their closets. Some are just bigger than others,” she told him.

He scratched idly at the scar on the side of his head. Barbara noticed his hair had grown back quite a bit. She’d always liked his hair. It was glossy and thick and soft. She’d loved running her fingers through it. She could hardly see the scar that was there. Thinking about it, it made her own scars twinge with phantom pains. She runs her fingers over her stomach at the thought.

“Scar bothering you?” she asked. His blue eyes darted over to her, his hand scratching his scar stilled. 

“Yeah, a little bit.”

She smiled to herself a little. “That can happen sometimes. Mine do from time to time. It’s less noticeable eventually.” 

Dick was looking straight ahead, a comfortable silence hanging between them. That’s how it usually was with them. Nothing awkward, nothing uncomfortable. Just peaceful. Her gaze lingered across his jawline. Dick was the most beautiful man she’d ever met. Not merely in a physical sense, although he had that in spades. But in a sense of who he was. He had a beautiful and kind soul. No matter what hardships he went through, he’d always pick himself up and get back on his feet and keep going forward. It was one of the things she admired most about him. His resilience. 

She knew he wasn’t completely shatterproof. He had a vulnerability not many people could see. He never liked to show it. But, she could always see it. Behind the charm and bravado still lurked a boy who witnessed his parents dying in front of his eyes. It was one of the reasons she loved him, she figured. He didn’t need her to fix him, but she was there to gather the shattered pieces and protect them as best she could as he fixed himself. And she knew he’d do the same for her. 

She grabbed ahold of the hand closest to her, resting on his knee. He squeezed back, a small smile playing on his lips. Yes, they didn’t always need to speak. Moments like this spoke louder than words ever could.

Barbara sensed a hesitancy in his demeanor. Like he wanted to get something off of his chest but wasn’t exactly sure how to do it. Her brows furrowed slightly. “Is anything wrong?” she finally asked him.

He scooted closer to her on the bench. He gave her an earnest look, not one she was used to seeing in his blue eyes. “I just wanted to thank you. I was rude to you, and you are the last person on this Earth that I would ever want to hurt, yet it keeps happening anyway. I know I wasn’t myself, but it still pains me to think about it. You say I don’t owe anyone any apologies, but regardless, I owe you one at least.” He pinched a lock of her red hair in between his fingers as he spoke. 

“No one has ever meant as much to me as you do, Babs,” he continued. “Whenever I do anything or go anywhere, all I think of is how much I want to tell you everything that happened. When I look at you, I don’t just see an extremely intelligent, strong, kind, and beautiful young woman. I see somewhere that I’m safe. Somewhere that feels like home. When I look at you, I’m home. Truly home. Not even at the Manor, which was always Bruce’s home, if you even want to call it that. I think he feels more at home in the Cave than the Manor. No, _you_ are my home. I meant what I said. I will always come back to you. No matter what. There may be times when it seems like I won’t, but I always will. Because I feel at home with you. Safe.”

He sighed some. “Even living on the road, touring with the circus, it never felt like a real home. I know I was loved by my parents, and I loved what we did, but there was a part of me that longed for a permanent place to just… be. And I finally found it. With you. It’s always been you.”

Barbara felt a catch in her throat. This was the first time he’d ever said anything so raw and emotional to her. In spite of his exuberant personality, he rarely opened up in such an honest way. A part of her heart was soaring at his words. She knew he cared for her, just as she cared for him. She saw a future with them together, but nothing ever seemed to fall into place. 

“I love you, Babs. I know there’s a lot of uncertainty in our lives right now. But one thing I’ve always been sure of, are my feelings for you. And if I know you as well as I think I do, you love me too.” He placed a hand on her cheek and gently stroked it with his thumb. 

“Listen, I know you’re worried about what might happen to our friendship. Nothing will ever change that. We mean too much to each other. We’re already deep into this, whatever you want to call it. Sometimes, we have to take a chance. It’s like jumping off of a building. We have to trust one another to catch us if we fall. I’ll always be there to catch you.”

She smiled, “And I’ll be there to catch you too. I want you to know that. You’ve always been the one to look out for us, but you need someone to look out for you too. I know keeping up the facade of happy-go-lucky Dick Grayson can be exhausting, but you don’t have to do that with me. We can look out for each other. Keep each other safe. You and I are both more than capable of having one another’s backs. Once you get back to full fighting form, we can return to being the Dynamite Duo again. Even though you’ll be in Bludhaven and I’ll be in Burnside. If you need a hand, I’ll always give it.”

Dick gave her hand a squeeze. “I didn’t fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway…”

Barbara is reminded of a Japanese phrase she’d heard once. _Koi no yokan_. It’s not love at first sight, but more like love at second sight. It’s a feeling of when you meet someone that you’re going to fall in love with them. You might not fall in love with them right away, but eventually, you will. She thought that described her and Dick perfectly. No, she didn’t fall in love with him right away, and he didn’t either. But, she felt that she would fall in love with him, eventually. And, that’s how it happened. It wasn’t all at once. It was gradual. That’s the strongest kind of love. It builds itself a foundation to support itself. That way, no matter how hard the winds of adversity blow, it still stands sturdy. 

She was bound and determined not to waste any more time. She was done wasting time. She’d seen far too many people regret all the time they’d wasted not letting the ones they love to know just how much they were loved. Time was short and fleeting. She wasn’t going to have this one regret. Not with him, the one person who mattered more to her than anything. 

“For so long I was afraid. Afraid of others’ expectations of me, of the expectations I set for myself. Then Barry said something that stuck with me. He said he’d wished he had told Iris how he felt before he did. He thought of all the time he spent too afraid to tell her and how it was wasted when he could’ve used that time to be with her.” She turned to look at him with an intensity he’d never seen before. “So, here it is. I’m in love with you, Dick Grayson. I have been for a long time. It wasn’t like a lightning strike, it was more gradual. But, I love you. And I don’t want to spend any more time wondering what might have been.”

She paused briefly to gather her thoughts. Dick was patient and waited for her. 

“A lot of that time was spent trying to process the trauma of my shooting and the loss of my legs. It was a long process, but I did my best to carry on. Then, when dad told me about the surgical procedure down in South Africa, and the fact that I wanted it, there was guilt. And when it succeeded and I was able to walk again, I felt even more guilt for those who didn’t have that choice. That option. I was lauded as the poster girl for those who suffered from spinal injuries, and it wasn’t a role I wanted. I just wanted to be me. So I pushed people away as I threw myself into school and crime-fighting. I wanted something more with you, I craved it in my bones, but I just wasn’t in a good place yet.”

Dick traced the outline of her cheek with his finger.

“I know, Babs. You are one of the strongest people I know. I think it’s one of the main things I love about you. We all have our own demons we fight every day. Some more than others. Bruce has an entire cave full of them. You and I, and Jason and Damien and everyone else, kind of got caught in the undertow. Me, I’m a born performer. I can hide my shadows better than most people I know. But, I have a good support system to help me with them, something Bruce never had. I’m not gonna let them beat me, and I know yours won’t beat you either.”

He touched his forehead to hers.

“And, just so you know, I’ve been waiting for you this whole time. Just like I always said I would.”

Barbara looked deep into Dick’s eyes. “I won’t say that it’ll still be easy. I still have certain self-doubts sometimes, and that may crop up from time to time. So, just be patient with me, that’s all I ask.”

Dick tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, “I still have a lot of self-doubts myself. Let’s make a deal, ok? If you’ll be patient with me and help me through some of my own insecurities, I’ll help you through yours. Deal?”

She smiled. “Deal.”

Barbara had held onto Dick’s memories. Of him, of them. The ones they made together. The ones she was able to help return to him. She held onto them as a lioness looks after her cub. She kept them safe. She kept all of the memories she had with Dick safe. All the times they soared over the city taking down criminals, afterward when they’d sit on the rooftops, looking over the lights of the city, just being close. Even when they went out as civilians, just for a cup of coffee, she treasured them all. And she knew she’d treasure the new ones they’d make together.

Barbara leaned over and kissed Dick on the side of his head where his scar was.

“What was that for?” he asked, a little bewildered. 

Barbara shrugged, “Well, whenever I was a little girl and I scraped my knees or my elbows riding my bike or playing jump rope, my mom would always kiss my injury and said that kisses would make it better. I figured it was worth a shot.”

Dick smiled at her slyly. “Maybe I can kiss _your_ scars sometime?”

Barbara returned his sly smile, “Maybe you can.”

Dick turned to face her more fully, “I want us to be honest and open with each other, Babs. I know our line of work calls for a lot of secrecy, and that time I was with Spyral and had to fake my death, it killed me knowing I couldn’t tell you, of all people, what was really happening. I don’t want things to be like that again.”

Barbara looked into his eyes. She was always mesmerized by those blue eyes of his. They were blue like the deepest part of the ocean and combined with the midnight black of his hair, it was a breathtaking combination. She knew why women, and some men, were attracted to him. Add his athletic physique and devastating charm, he was pretty hard to resist. 

She smiled. “Listen, I understand why you had to do what you did when you were with Spyral. It was important to keep the masks a secret. Yes, I was angry and upset when I learned the truth, but I still understood why it had to be done. And I eventually got over it. And I’m not naive enough that I know sometimes there will be secret missions and the like that either one of us will be a part of, and that we might not be able to tell one another about. It’s a part of the package of what we do.”

Dick met her smile with one of his own. “See, this is why I like being with you, Babs. You understand more than most. You know what it’s like to do… this. I’ve tried relationships with ‘civilians’ and it usually ends with them almost getting hurt, or them just not understanding the double life. But you understand all of it because you do it too. Every time I was with someone else, I’d wonder what you were doing. What my best friend was up to. And, well, I couldn’t really let loose like I’d wanted to with the other women. I mean, not to embarrass you or anything, but you’re really the only one who could keep up with me in bed.”

Barbara loved how he blushed so adorably.

She nudged his arm with her elbow.

“Same, Hunk Wonder.”

Barbara allowed herself a sly smiled and leaned forward to whisper in his ear, “You know, all of those times you showed up for training wearing those joggers hung low on your hips, I wanted to lick that crease in between your hips…”

Dick flushed a bit, then leaned over to whisper in her ear, “If you’re lucky, you may get the chance. As for me, I loved that valley in between your breasts. I could kiss there for days…”

“You may luck out there, Hunk Wonder. You just may…”

Their proximity caused her heart to beat faster. Sapphire eyes met jade and the sparks that flew could light up Time’s Square. Dick traced her jaw with his finger again and she leaned into his touch. They’d kissed before. They’d even had sex before. But this time, at this moment, it felt different. Newer. More intense. 

They moved closer until their lips finally connected. She reached up and threaded her fingers through his hair and their kiss deepened. Their lips and their hearts opened up to one another and the rest of the world faded away. They fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. A chorus of whoops and hollers caused them to break free after what felt like an eternity. 

Barbara had to catch her breath and slow down her rapidly beating heart. She was left breathless and she could tell by looking at Dick he felt the same.

Dick cleared his throat. “Wow, that was… wow…” was all he was able to sputter out.

Barbara brought him back down to Earth. “What say we grab a bite to eat? I dunno about you, but emotional unloading can cause quite the appetite.”

Dick ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, that sounds good to me. I just realized how hungry I am.”

Barbara stood up and reached her hand out. “OK, let’s go. How about the usual place?”

Dick grabbed her hand and stood. “Sounds like a fine idea, Ms. Gordon.”

She smiled, “You’re quite welcome, Mr. Grayson.”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she placed hers around his waist. 

“Well then, let’s not waste any more time.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Feedback and comments are appreciated, as always. I have a lot of feels when it comes to these two and I probably always will.


End file.
